House Keeping?

"Every time I go into a horse's stall, I knock and say 'house keeping' in my most Mexican accent, just so they get the full effect."

Love Handles

"They ain't love handles if nobody loves you."

Looks Like Dope

"Someone dropped an M&M... or an amphetamine. Looks like dope - you're gonna lose your teeth."

-- Dr. Tamblyn

52

Justine: "How many teeth do we have? 52?"

Kay: "Nooo... that's a deck of cards."

By George!

"By George, I think we've found his perfect match!"

"George had nothing to do with this; it was all me."

Single

"The reason you're single just called."
"Who?"
"Your gay husband."
"Which one?"

Good Looks Only

"I saw you riding with a hottie today. Are you dating him?"

"No. Just a friend."

"Why not? He's hot!"

"Of course he's hot; I'm only friends with good-looking people."