Looks Like Dope

"Someone dropped an M&M... or an amphetamine. Looks like dope - you're gonna lose your teeth."

-- Dr. Tamblyn

52

Justine: "How many teeth do we have? 52?"

Kay: "Nooo... that's a deck of cards."

By George!

"By George, I think we've found his perfect match!"

"George had nothing to do with this; it was all me."

Single

"The reason you're single just called."
"Who?"
"Your gay husband."
"Which one?"

Good Looks Only

"I saw you riding with a hottie today. Are you dating him?"

"No. Just a friend."

"Why not? He's hot!"

"Of course he's hot; I'm only friends with good-looking people."

Taken

"I only have room for one lame male in my life, and that position has been taken by my horse."

Add That Smile

‎"A friendship that feels forced is not worth it. Sometimes quitting something IS the positive thing to do. Keep a smile, though."